Whenever I hear the reference “the thick of it”, it’s mostly referring to parents with young children. I’ll hear, “wow you have 3 kids under 5? Yeah you’re in the thick of it”…and now I kind of get it. It’s having these little dependent beings around at all times and feeling like you sometimes don’t have any control. Whether it’s the emotions or sickness or just total chaos, there are times when it feels it’s hard to come up for air. This Fall in particular has been a little tough in our house. We’ve been a state of diseqaulibrium for the last two months with consistent sicknesses and sleep issues and it feels hard to get anything done because our plans are always changing. But it’s a phase, right?
I remember vividly two years ago during the holiday season when I was pregnant with Jack and baking cookies with Charlie and McKenna and a wave of deep happiness washed over me. We had our Christmas playlist going, a scented candle burning, and the best time baking together. I remember thinking, life is really really good right now. The kids were sleeping well, napping consistently, and everything was easy and fun. It was one of those moments when all the stars were aligning and I just had to soak it up and savor it. Now it didn’t last forever as I knew it wouldn’t, but I made myself make a mental note to write it down and remember it, because when I’m reflecting on this season of life down the road, I know these are the moments that I’m going to hold on to.
I’ve actually had that type of euphoria wash over me quite a few times over the last few years. Where everything feels calm and peaceful. I feel it when my 5 year old prays for me at night or tells me I’m his best friend. I feel it when I’m sipping coffee in the morning and all three kids are playing happily. I feel it when they are all tucked in bed and I can slip into my pajamas and Eric and I can curl up under a blanket on the couch. There’s something about having children that just makes that happiness even deeper. Especially with littles who want to be with us. We are their World. So what am I getting at? I’m not sure. I guess I feel like life is constantly changing and some days feel bright and easy and others are really hard. But I think pausing and noticing something really special happening is magical for our hearts. Sometimes it’s just really nice to sit in a peaceful moment and really breath it in. Let ourselves feel all the feels. Soak them up. Because this is such a special season. And it really does go by fast.
So today I’m just reflecting. Acknowledging the exhaustion but focusing on the laughter. Soaking up the little voices and the tangent stories. Letting go of the mess and joining in on the circus. My little people are only little for so long. And I want to savor it.
