The second we become parents, we are filled with the most profound love and need to protect our own. The first time we hear that heartbeat on the monitor, we are filled with our first onset of worry: will this baby be healthy? Will this baby be okay?

I think part of being a parent is worrying! The world can be a tough place and all we want is what is best for our children.  There are so many things out of our control that it is natural to feel anxiety. We will have countless moments when we ask ourselves, “Am I doing the right thing?”… Being human means we make mistakes. And when you’re a parent and you think of that impact on your child- well, it’s stressful!

I was recently talking with my mom about how I feel like everyone I know is on anxiety medication, including myself. I actually know more people on them than not.  It’s kind of freaky to think about and I’ve tried getting off several times over the years but at the end of the day, that tiny white pill helps keep me even. Maybe one day I’ll feel a little less stressed but as a new mom, I think that’s a long time from now. I personally feel overwhelmed by all the information out in the world that we have access to at any given moment via the internet and social media. I don’t want to take away credit from all the parents before us but I feel like parenting has only gotten harder now that we have so many avenues in which we connect with one another and share. It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing enough when you see what everyone else is doing. It’s easy to compare your kid to another when one starts sleeping or talking long before your own child. And we’re all bombarded with a zillion differing opinions, methods, and ideas. Technology, the future- wow. I guess every generation is overwhelmed for the next. Ha, am I sounding stressed?

I have been struggling in a few baby areas lately including feeding and sleeping that led me recently to two different pediatrician visits in one week. From day one, it’s been clear that all my children are different, but nothing has been super easy since J was born! Even though I’ve followed all the exact same methods, he’s a different little guy! After my first pediatrician visit, I left feeling frustrated and confused. The information she was giving me was just about the opposite of what I had learned and practiced with my other two and I was totally overwhelmed. I tried her tips but to no avail and knew I had to trust my own gut. I went back a few days later to see a different doctor and was given a lot more sympathy and validation and I felt encouraged once more. The next day, J was eating and sleeping just like he should be.

I’m deep in the trenches with my children’s age gap right now and I know it. I have three under four and my main job each day is to keep them safe. Some days I feel so overwhelmed by this, that my chest tightens, my heart rate heightens, and I feel on the verge of panic. My kids are active, adventurous, and everywhere, and I always worry that I can’t be a step ahead of them. In seconds while feeding the baby a bottle, another is climbing and breaking drawers and sneaking pens into their room to draw on their tables. I do everything I can to ask for help, take them out to burn energy, and distract them, but sometimes the television is on a little more than I’d like but that’s how we survive over here. I know this stage will pass and things will get easier, but I’m not sure you can ever stop worrying when you’re a parent.

This world often makes us feel like we need to be doing so much for our kids. Giving them stimulating activities, serving non-processed organic foods, exercising equal parts physical activity while working on mental skillsets and putting them in the best learning environments. Personally I feel very strongly about mine having time to just be kids and play. As they get older there will be other stresses, whether its academics, social dilemmas, or the woes of being a teenager, but those worries can wait.

I think in order to battle our own anxieties, we need to focus on putting on the blinders and staying in our lanes and doing what is best for our own families and children. If you show your kids love and kindness, and do your best to guide them, well, you’re doing a pretty good job being a parent.

Here are some things I practice regularly to manage my anxiety:

*get outside… a walk or a run does wonders for my soul and I never regret the fresh air

*take social media breaks… I always feel better when I tune out for a bit!

*listen to classical music (or George Winston’s December album). It always calms me.

*have a running to-do list… (that way I feel like I’m organized)

*talk to mom friends. It always helps to know you’re not alone

*focus on what I can control. one day at a time. one foot in front of the other.

*spend time each day giving the kids 100% of my attention

*read (seriously- escaping into another world is so soothing for me)

*sit on couch immediately after putting kids to bed. Dishes and chores can wait…

Now that Jack is officially sleeping through the night (as of literally two days ago), I think the fog will lift and everything will feel a little less stressful.

Do any of you feel the same way? How do you manage your stress?

honest motherhood managing anxiety parenting anxiety