My Dearest baby girl McKenna,

You are the happiest baby and such a light, little one. Even on your sick days, you put a smile on your face. People keep asking me, “Is she always this happy?” Daily you remind me attitude is everything and all I really need in this life are people to love and people who love me.

To be honest, I’ve been scared about being a girl mom. You’d think because I am a girl that it would feel like I’m entering a world I know but this world we live in is so different than the one I grew up in.

We are obsessed with what each other is doing and consumed by the need to feel busy all the time. Often I’ll look around myself at a stoplight and see every other passenger sitting on their phone. We can’t even drive or sit at a restaurant by ourselves and actually just look around us. It’s like we’re afraid of any second of boredom.

I know that boys struggle with this too but girls seem to be the ones who take the internet and social media world too seriously. Girls more often struggle with loving and respecting their bodies, minds, and hearts. It is so important that you talk to me about what’s going on in your world. And talk to people around you. I’m so afraid your generation won’t be good at communicating in person and want an app to do everything for them. The thought terrifies me, M.

I am hoping by the time you’re a teenager, social media will implode. But I’m sure there will be a different way to be voyeurs into other lives. Just remember that you never really know what’s going on behind the scenes in someone else’s life and the best way to be happy is to acknowledge your own blessings. No one is living a better life than you!

One of the most important things you can do in this life is love yourself. Love all the things that make you who you are, even your imperfections. We all have them! Give yourself grace and trust your gut. You must first love yourself in order to truly love someone else.

I am going to do everything I can to make sure you and your brother know how loved you are. And how fun and bright and lovely, despite any self doubt you may ever have. We’re going to teach you how to have confidence, because it’s so important you believe in yourself. I struggled with it a bit but your dad never really has and it’s something I’ve always admired about him. Confidence takes you far in life, as long as you are also humble.

I have to share a few things with you that will make you laugh and because as I write them here, I know I’ll never forget them. You are absolutely hysterical Kenny Girl. You have started growling and grunting because you love to make noise. People will turn their heads in a grocery store and smile. It makes your brother giggle and then you start giggling and then I can’t help but laugh too. You absolutely adore Charlie and light up when he comes over to you on the playground. He’s pretty fond of you too and I love you are always ready to play with him even though he’ll take just about every toy in front of you. I guess that’s just how it goes with siblings. But once you two stand at the train table together and start dancing and laughing, I am in my happy place. Being mom to you two is the best.

I love you more than you could ever know and am SO proud to be your mama. Keep doing you, girlfriend, and remember I’m always here for you. No matter what.

Love,

Mom

a letter to my daughter motherhood