LIFE WITH TWO UNDER TWO!

This has been a highly requested post! And it’s taken me a while to sit down and write. I think I just needed to experience it more before sharing my thoughts. We’re only 8 weeks in but I can share how we’ve adjusted so far and do an update later!

The first thing I will say about life with two under two is that while it’s been absolutely chaotic, it has also has been the most special experience in my life. There are definitely challenges but having two sweet healthy kiddos has been this biggest blessing and has given me such a deep sense of happiness.

I have been asked what we did to prepare Charlie to meet his sister, how he’s adjusting to a new sibling, how I’m handling the chaos of two babies and not sleeping, and overall, how our transition has been. So let me dive right in!

We actually didn’t do much to prepare Charlie for a sibling other than bring a few toys to give him “from McKenna” at the hospital which didn’t really sink in. We introduced him to her and said “this is your baby sister!” and he leaned in for a kiss (which made my heart explode). His sweetness was instinct. I was the one to put him to bed those first few nights home from the hospital because I didn’t want everything to feel totally different. (My recovery was easy so this wasn’t a problem for me to do). His first few weeks were a bit confusing (who IS this baby getting held all the time?) and he definitely became more clingy. He’d hear her cry and he’d pretend to cry. He’d cling to my legs begging to be held after I’d been holding her. And he’d throw himself on the floor when he wouldn’t get what he wanted (very age appropriate). We still have these moments but I think because he is so young, he’s already forgotten he used to be the only one. So that’s how his transition has been. The bigger struggle has been his age (now 18 months), but we’ll get to that in a second.

For me, I had been fully prepared to expect these days with 2 babies 16.5 months apart to be VERY HARD. Everyone either said, “I could never do that” or “yep, it was rough”. So I had very low expectations for those first few weeks with a newborn and a toddler who is in everyyyything. And because I expected the worst, I have been pleasantly surprised by how wonderful it has been.

Let me clarify: it hasn’t been EASY. It just hasn’t been impossible.  I anticipated not being able to do anything for a while. I expected to be tied to my house, completely overwhelmed, and unable to get back into things. But as you’ve seen, I’ve kept up with my blog and been able to get out and about frequently.

I think when you have your first baby, no matter if you’re trained with infants, have been around babies, or feel totally prepared, you still have moments of self doubt. Well, we all do, don’t we? Anyway, I was a bit overwhelmed with all my ‘firsts’ with Charlie and now I feel like I’ve got the newborn thing down. Instead of going to bed with anxiety, I’ll kiss McKenna and say “see ya in a few hours!” It doesn’t scare me because I know it’s short lived. I will also say that I’ve been working with sleep consultant Bumble Baby doing Moms on Call and McKenna has been dong 5-7 hour stretches since week 5, so that’s HUGE. A big review of that to come later.

All the stress we have been experiencing in our house is still tied to our ‘firsts’ with Charlie. 18 months is a very interesting age. It’s adorable: your child is becoming SO independent and engaging and their personality is emerging. It’s also a time for lots of boundary testing and free will discovery. Currently our little guy is cutting 5 teeth, driving our dogs insane, and putting himself in danger by climbing everything. We have our house childproofed but he is a willful and clever and will beeline for a cabinet accidentally left unhinged. He is looking for attention in any way he can get it. And when you’re trying to manage that all while tending to a baby who knows no patience, that’s when it’s most overwhelming.

There was an incident about a month ago where Charlie threw blocks at McKenna in her rocker. I had her safe from touch inside a playpen but did not anticipate this. I was so upset. Is he trying to hurt her? I removed her from the situation, disciplined Charlie with a time out, and then found him throwing blocks right back in the rocker. It made me realize it had nothing to do with her but rather, attention. I was relieved and also determined to start giving our toddler a little more one on one time. Now that McKenna is napping independently, Charlie and I use that time to play and read together.

I’ve also been good about putting my phone away when I spend time with them. Yes, occasionally I bring it out (can’t resist those adorable videos I’ve shared on IG) but I am trying my best to be totally present. He soaks up everything and totally knows when Mama is paying attention. I love the precious moments when he runs up to show me something.

Yes, life with two under two has been a roller coaster of emotion and I’ve shed my fair share of tears. But lately, I’ve felt like I’ve got this. Again and again, motherhood has proven to me that I can take on new challenges and where this is a will, there is a way.

Do any of you have kiddos less than 2 years apart? What was your biggest challenge?

motherhood transitioning to two under two two under two