When I tell people I want to have four kids and I want them close in age, many of them open their eyes wide in surprise. FOUR. That’s so busy!

My babies will be just over 16 months apart and that’s mind boggling for some too. People either think I’m crazy or a saint. Or maybe a mix of the two. I chuckle because I’ve never wanted anything more than the chaos and excitement of raising a big family. It’s what I’ve always known.

I think every mom is made for different parts of motherhood and like anything else in life, we have our strengths and struggles. I’m a mom who is made for littles. I enjoy being on the floor with my baby. I love to do arts and crafts and play. Make believe, fort building, and doll houses- I can’t wait for it all. The idea of being up in the middle of the night all over again with our second and functioning on zero sleep totally terrifies me but at the same time, I know I can handle it. I’ll have my moments but it’s all worth it because I LOVE this phase so much. The snuggles. The teaching. The learning. The newborn scent. And its gone in the blink of an eye.

But not everyone is made for this stage and that’s okay! I feel like so many new moms struggle with the guilt of not enjoying some of the baby phase. Not enjoying being on the floor, being totally exhausted or bored or overwhelmed by it. But that’s totally normally and also fine. Why are we always so hard on ourselves? Why is it we feel that we have to be amazing at everything mom-related for our kids?

I’m terrified of teenagers. Even as a grown woman, they make me anxious. I’m afraid they’ll say something that I won’t have a clever response to. Some of you are going to know how to talk to your teenagers. You’re going to excel in those tough conversations that totally terrify me and that I’d rather avoid but know I’ll have to face.

Some of you are going to be so helpful with homework. You’ll be able to explain things patiently and you’ll be interested in the subject your child is learning. You’ll help with school projects and be involved in your kids’ classrooms. Maybe you’ll have worldly conversations at the dinner table and discuss politics and literature.

Some of you will create amazing meals for your family and have nostalgic recipes your kids will never forget. You’ll bake with your kiddos and inspire them to try something new.

And some of you are going to have endless patience and never lose your cool. You’ll be calm and collected and always a voice of reason.

Each of you is amazing and wonderful and a GREAT MOM in your own unique way. You are just what your child needs.

I’ve had this discussion with a few friends lately. Not only do we have strengths in different stages of motherhood, but we also have different phases that make us feel most vulnerable. For a lot of new moms, it’s this stage right now. Why? Because we’re new to it. And people have opinions about everything. Especially other moms. And it’s so easy for casual comments to really dig at us. I was warning an older woman at Church recently that Charlie wasn’t really into wearing hats. And she told me “we sometimes have to do that mommy thing and make them wear it” and it nearly made me burst into tears. I know her intentions weren’t to offend me but I’ve already been beating myself up about other things and my hormones are are all over the place. Also, I DO do that mommy thing and sometimes my kid will take the hat off anyway. Can we give each other a break?

Now that Charlie is walking, we’ve hit that full blown toddler phase. We have regular meltdowns and extreme clinginess. The word “No’ has become an invitation to push the boundaries. I used to work with toddlers but having my own is different. It takes additional patience and strength to set limits and stick to them.

There are going to be so many wonderful and simultaneously challenging stages ahead. That’s life, right? Each of us is going to excel in different areas of it. And there are going to be parts where we rely on each other for advice and help. It’s so much easier said than done but I’m going to work on letting go of some of that mommy guilt that creeps into my subconscious every now and then.  Because while I’m not perfect, I know that I’m doing my best. And not only are all these stages and changes for Charlie are new to him, they are also new to me.

Can we work on that together mamas? Celebrate our wins and forgive ourselves for our mistakes? Dole out words of encouragement? Cheer each other on? It takes a village. I understand that now. So here’s to motherhood together. We need each other. And we’ve got this.

*photos by Madeline Harper

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Side note: while I loooove these flats, I don’t recommend wearing them to a park with your toddler, ha ;)

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