The last few weeks since Charlie entered the world have been the most challenging and rewarding ones of my life. I think any parent will tell you the same thing. I haven’t slept. I’ve been peed and pooped on. I’ve sobbed uncontrollably about a spilled casserole and have doubted my capabilities as a mom. I’ve stared at my husband and wondered how it is that us women have to go through SO much both physically and emotionally to bring life into this world when all they have to do is hold our hand through it and avoid saying I’m tired until further notice.
As hard as it’s been, it’s also been the best, most life-changing experience. I’ll battle through the sleepless nights for a healthy, growing baby. Charlie is absolutely amazing. I see both Eric and myself in him and wonder what he’ll be like in the future. I love his soft coos and smiles, though I know they are merely coincidental facial expressions at this young point in his life. He has already grown and changed so much since his birth and as much as I’m looking forward to his future milestones of longer stretches of sleep and holding up his own neck, I’m going to miss his teeny tiny size. It’s hard to describe the visceral joy his little hand wrapped around my finger brings me. Having Charlie has forced me to look at the world in a new way. I applaud all the mamas and papas out there and have a newfound appreciation for parenthood. I take back any judgment I’ve ever passed now that I understand what it means to give in, sometimes, to get through. We all do our best.